Thank you, Harinath. That really means a lot to me. I’m grateful for the way you’ve seen everyone here so thoughtfully, it made this feel even more special. ✨️😊
Harinath, this is beautifully said. I think you’re right, connection is what makes it all real. I’m really grateful for moments like this, where we can feel and understand each other beyond words. 😊
“We have been taught humility so thoroughly that praise feels suspicious when it comes from our own mouths. We know how to critique our flaws with precision, but when asked to name our brilliance, we hesitate. We search for permission.”
Hmm. I see a strong culture of self-promotion and exhibitionism and braggadocio on many social media platforms. I would wish for a bit MORE humility, but that’s just me. (I would guess there is a gender/sex variable to this issue of self-promotion online, but I don’t want to start any flame wars!)
Hello Baird.... I took my time to read his thread and loving it not because it's flaming the other side of this issue that has nothing to do with it.
The key word "Promotion" does not appear in entire issue from the introduction to the conclusion. There is no word promotion in it. In other words, this issue is not about publicly putting yourself out to be the best. It’s looking at yourself in the mirror and telling yourself fuck it! "I know who I am and I know I am good." That is called self acknowledgment which all of us "100% of us" spend our entire lives waiting to hear from people, but we never do and if we’re lucky enough, we do hear.
We like to tell ourselves that we are Humble writers, that we love our spaces, that we like you our quiet, and if people hear us fine! If they don’t hear us fine! But the truth is nobody is that humble not to ever desire to get credit for who they are or give value for what they present. I don’t see anything wrong with someone once in their entire lifetime using just 50 words to say "I AM ENOUGH, YES I KNOW, I AM GOOD"
That's not self promotion. That's not publicly praising yourself. And that is not being pompous or proud. It’s called identification, it’s called acknowledgment, it’s called knowing who you are. and for once in your entire life, saying it to your face, with you full chest.
This is what we do to ourselves every time, instead of appreciating ourselves, and how far we have come we spend our time condemning ourselves, and telling ourselves in our head that we are being humble and if we say "enough is enough" that is us being proud and being loud.
In your opinion Baird: we should all learn to condemn ourselves, maybe we should all keep doing what we're doing and hoping that one day someone sees us. We should also learn to live in silence and in the shadows, maybe we should never in our entire lifetime tell ourselves that we are everything we believe we are because why we don’t want to shout and scream right? Let us be humble and secretly sweet credit bit damn anyone physically or remotely who tries to do it to themselves or to us. WHY? WHY? WHY?
That's not humility. That's shrinking. That's being dead. That's being miserable. And you can never be okay physically or otherwise. Andi refuse to not see myself for who I am or how far I've come. I'm not waiting for you or anyone to see me first. That's my job 💯
I regret that my comments came across in any way as criticizing what this essay is about and the people who are contributing, Ral. I completely agree with the spirit of the piece (healthy pride, self-acknowledgment) as you and others articulate so well in your comments. I was reacting only to that single sentence I quoted at the start of my initial comment starting with “We have been taught humility …”.
I think our culture promotes arrogant displays (for certain people) and actually devalues humility which I view as a virtue and wrote about in one of my essays:
But I can see how my comment could be seen as criticizing and undermining the positive intention of this whole and excellent essay and all its participants about escaping the harmful silencing and minimizing that our culture also subjects so many people to. If you or others would like, I would be happy to delete my initial comment so as not to continue to pollute the atmosphere here. Please let me know if that would be a constructive thing for me to do. Thank you.
Aloha! This thread is landing in a tender place for me.
My dad’s favorite saying was “Who do you think you are, Billy big shit?”, a warning not to shine too brightly, not to take up too much space. And I learned it well. Too well.
It took me 61 years to understand the difference between arrogance and healthy pride. To walk into a room without apologizing for being there. To acknowledge what I’ve built, survived, and contributed, not for validation, but because it’s true.
Dimming my light never actually protected anyone. It just left me in the dark.
For those of us raised to shrink, learning to speak plainly about our own value isn’t bragging. It’s healing.
Thanks for that great comment, Melinda! Your distinction between arrogance (what I meant by “braggadocio”) and healthy pride nails it perfectly. Occupying our own space because it’s our’s and we deserve to have it is indeed such a signal of a healthy self. Thanks again for that clarification.
Small clarification: that text isn’t mine. Even though I am thankful to the author for seeing me in a way I am still trying to get used to.
But you point to an interesting tension.
Social media amplifies self-promotion, yes… yet many people still find it surprisingly difficult to speak honestly about themselves, without feeling they may be crossing into arrogance. Interestingly, that often coexists with a deep discomfort some of us feel when asked to name our own strengths plainly.
I agree Sara. There are real individual differences in comfort level with promoting one’s own value in a public space (I am not comfortable doing this). I suspect there are a number of variables that have an influence on that.
Righto Sara. I believe that my shyness and introversion are somewhat of a handicap in a world of bright spotlights and loud voices. So I focus on doing the best work I can which does attract some decent attention in the marketplace. We are who we are.
Thank you, Ral, for including me in Who You Are. Honored to be part of this issue and to stand alongside so many distinct, powerful voices. There’s something beautiful about so many journeys gathered in one place. Grateful to be included.
Happy Sunday and apologies for the late response. Been so tired lately. I love and love sharing the marvel behind who we are. I couldn't even imagine so many people felt compelled to appreciate themselves. It's been a long time coming. I'm a so happy you're part of it 🥰🥰
So lovely meeting you, and yes thanks for seeing us and reveling in this beautiful self appreciation Issue. Can you imagine when we all wait to hear those things said to us and when we say it first? Marvelous.
We do issues and more of this every Saturday on weekends. Please join us this coming weekend to explore Something more beautiful. Also, consider picking up our patron plans.
Thank you for allowing me to be part of this. Though mine looks almost "childish and silly" compared with some of the other beautiful posts. I will see you next time.
Childish and silly is the late thing you're sounds like. Self appreciate my friend. I love a good Concept and that's how yours feel. You know I'm the queen of style. You're amazing truly and so is your words and journey. ♥️
Welcome to Planet Ral and yes and yes thanks for seeings and appreciating this beautiful body of work with us. Means heavens. We explore more Beautiful issue and more every weekend on Saturdays. Please orbit with us. Also consider our patrons plans.. see you🥰🥰
I know right.... Who would have thought self appreciation felt so good. And funny we've all been waiting Millenia for others to help us to it... Damn that! 😀
As a mother and advocate, it truly means so much to be included among such thoughtful reflections. Thank you Ral for creating space for people to share who they are in such an honest and meaningful way.
Motherhood has a way of reshaping how you see yourself…it softens parts of you, strengthens others, and asks you to stand up for things that matter. Being able to use my voice for my son, for disability advocacy, and for the kind of world I hope he grows up in is something I carry with deep pride.
I’m grateful to be part of this conversation and honoured to stand alongside everyone who shared their words here.
Don't send me to tears.... I hear you. I see you. We see you. That's why this issue exists. That's why Planet Ral exist. To shine the light on each of our faces once a week does that magic. A lovely Community for us by us. Welcome honey. ♥️
Thanks so much for seeing and being here to appreciate the issue. I couldn't imagine getting all these beautiful self expressions in one place but we did it.
Weekends are for us to see ourselves in a different light with Planet Ral. Welcome ma'am. Hope to see you more 🥰🥰
How are you doing today? Such a pleasure to see you here. And oh my! I hope the issue is just lovely enough. I wanted to present something we Avent yet fully explored - the art of appreciating ourselves and it came out beautifully.
Bouquet of flowers... Such a lovely way to put it... It means to much to me to have have you join us this weekend. Hope you know we do this each Saturday. Coke have fine with us. Hoping to see you on our patron plans 🥰🥰
**Melinda Lloyd**
Showing up—again and again—is your strength. That kind of grit is rare.
**Yvette Troyna**
You carry leadership with humility. And that line about your hair smelling like blueberries—beautifully vivid.
**Stephanie Dee Smith**
While many wait, you begin. You create momentum. You make people feel like winners—that’s a rare gift.
**Kate @ Sorted State**
A little disturbance gives life its meaning. You seem to understand that depth.
**Amanda Aaron 🇨🇦**
Reading you last feels like Ral intentionally placed you here. You carry pieces of everyone—a quiet summary of this entire journey.
Thank you Harinath 🥰 the time and thought you put into these praises, and identifying us individually 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻 you are such a gem. Thank you. Bless you.
✨
I am human, and you are all human too.
@Ral Joseph has created this wonderful space and brings out the best in us.
She presents us like celebrities.
Each word feels like oxygen…breathing life in and taking away the sickness.
❣️
Thank you Harinath, I am loving your observations and wonderful affirmations for all of us. You made my day.
Yes, Melinda—
I keep showing up too.
Beaten, bruised,
legs shaking,
muscles tight,
hands too heavy to lift,
head spinning…
and still—
one last time—
I get up and stand.
That is what makes the difference.
Inspiring!
**Netta Fei**
We share the same sun sign—and perhaps the same attitude. Keep it alive.
**The WOW Words**
You seem in control—living consciously, with intent.
**Lorewright of the Triune**
Not just a good man, but a realistic one. You understand your limits, yet don’t let them define you.
**Taia Calle Belou**
What a pitch—you had me convinced. There’s something truly captivating about you.
**Michael Affronte Jr**
You’ve learned through experience. Your balance—neither too guarded nor too open—makes you deeply relatable.
**Denise Servais**
Life shapes us in ways we don’t expect. Your words remind me how strong humans truly are.
**Julia Dyviniak (JN Ashe)**
Your creativity and your work seem to feed each other. That interplay is what makes you, you.
**Rebecca Bonnington**
You live with intention. You observe, invest, and truly engage with your surroundings.
**Regina Duke**
Experience has given you balance. You can see through the noise and find clarity.
beautiful!
**Elizabeth Van Alstine**
There’s so much depth here. I’m curious—what shaped you in your 40s?
**Pingolika**
Spreading the power of reading is a beautiful mission. In your own way, you’re healing the world.
**Sacred Rebelle**
There’s a quiet wisdom flowing through your writing.
**Gary L Taylor**
We are flawed. We are ordinary. Yet we carry the world on our shoulders—and that makes us extraordinary in our own way.
**Chris Craft**
You carry such joyful energy. I feel like I should meet you someday.
**Raquel**
You are a complete package—rich, layered, full of energy. Interacting with you feels like gaining something, even if just a little of your spirit.
**Sara da Encarnação**
You seem to have cut through the noise and seen the world as it is—clear, uncluttered, and beautiful.
**Anna | Tender & True**
All the best, Anna. I’ll be following your journey.
**Progressionist Women**
That’s a strong mindset. Keep going.
Thank you
Iʻm getting teary-eyed, this is so wonderful Harinath!
Mee too…😊🤞
**Saira**
It’s powerful to know what you think of yourself. Thank you for being there and healing your surroundings.
**Sue**
As much I from your previous writings you are a complete human being—grounded, with a deeply beating heart.
**Rosetta McKinnon**
The way you string words together… it feels like a garland—strong, proud, layered, yet always open for new flowers.
**Chris B. Writes**
It’s always a pleasure discovering more about you, Chris.
**Therapy Truck**
There’s something healing in what you do. I feel like I could use a bit of your magic.
**Erin O’Brien**
Sometimes, all we need is to hold on. You remind us of that.
**Linda Amato**
The world needs this kind of positivity. Keep spreading it.
**Oli Trollgora**
We come alone, we leave alone—but we are the one constant in our own lives. No one stays as loyal to us as we do.
**QuYahni B Joseph**
Simple, wise, with awareness of body & soul....and also deeply grounded words.
Love 10x
Thank you, Harinath. That really means a lot to me. I’m grateful for the way you’ve seen everyone here so thoughtfully, it made this feel even more special. ✨️😊
Right? Iʻm in happy tears right now.
Melinda, I know, right? It’s such a beautiful moment. I’m so glad we get to share this space together.
Me too @Saira Anwar 💗
The beauty is—I’m sitting here, quietly, tearing up… and smiling at the same time. 🤞♥😊...n my heart says...
We call ourselves human beings.
But if we cannot emotionally connect with another human being…
what does that really make us?
I don’t have the answer.
But somewhere, it feels like
connection is not just a part of being human—
it is the proof of it.
Without it,
we may still exist…
but are we truly living as humans?
Harinath, this is beautifully said. I think you’re right, connection is what makes it all real. I’m really grateful for moments like this, where we can feel and understand each other beyond words. 😊
Love this!
**Ral**
This felt like stepping into a quiet room
in the middle of a noisy world.
While everything outside pulls us
to look at others, compare, react—
this space did the opposite.
It made people turn inward.
I read voices that were not performing,
but searching…
not proving, but understanding.
Each piece felt like a life gently opening up.
And as I moved from one to another,
I wasn’t just reading—
I was living many lives, one after the other.
Somewhere, in all this,
it reminded me of something simple—
we don’t spend enough time
seeing ourselves clearly.
This was rare. And beautiful.
Yasssss!!!
“We have been taught humility so thoroughly that praise feels suspicious when it comes from our own mouths. We know how to critique our flaws with precision, but when asked to name our brilliance, we hesitate. We search for permission.”
Hmm. I see a strong culture of self-promotion and exhibitionism and braggadocio on many social media platforms. I would wish for a bit MORE humility, but that’s just me. (I would guess there is a gender/sex variable to this issue of self-promotion online, but I don’t want to start any flame wars!)
I appreciate where you are coming from Ral, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading the latest edition of “Planet Ral”.
I chose not to write, on this occasion. That’s not a criticism of those who wrote.
It’s a reflection on the path I have chosen to lead my life.
I’m not dead, I’m not hiding in the shadows, yes I am physically and mentally ill, but that isn’t the consequence of being a silent.
If required I’m more than capable of self advocacy, and I can happily advocate on behalf of others, as I did in my working life. 🙏
I understand you completely Mark.
Hello Baird.... I took my time to read his thread and loving it not because it's flaming the other side of this issue that has nothing to do with it.
The key word "Promotion" does not appear in entire issue from the introduction to the conclusion. There is no word promotion in it. In other words, this issue is not about publicly putting yourself out to be the best. It’s looking at yourself in the mirror and telling yourself fuck it! "I know who I am and I know I am good." That is called self acknowledgment which all of us "100% of us" spend our entire lives waiting to hear from people, but we never do and if we’re lucky enough, we do hear.
We like to tell ourselves that we are Humble writers, that we love our spaces, that we like you our quiet, and if people hear us fine! If they don’t hear us fine! But the truth is nobody is that humble not to ever desire to get credit for who they are or give value for what they present. I don’t see anything wrong with someone once in their entire lifetime using just 50 words to say "I AM ENOUGH, YES I KNOW, I AM GOOD"
That's not self promotion. That's not publicly praising yourself. And that is not being pompous or proud. It’s called identification, it’s called acknowledgment, it’s called knowing who you are. and for once in your entire life, saying it to your face, with you full chest.
This is what we do to ourselves every time, instead of appreciating ourselves, and how far we have come we spend our time condemning ourselves, and telling ourselves in our head that we are being humble and if we say "enough is enough" that is us being proud and being loud.
In your opinion Baird: we should all learn to condemn ourselves, maybe we should all keep doing what we're doing and hoping that one day someone sees us. We should also learn to live in silence and in the shadows, maybe we should never in our entire lifetime tell ourselves that we are everything we believe we are because why we don’t want to shout and scream right? Let us be humble and secretly sweet credit bit damn anyone physically or remotely who tries to do it to themselves or to us. WHY? WHY? WHY?
That's not humility. That's shrinking. That's being dead. That's being miserable. And you can never be okay physically or otherwise. Andi refuse to not see myself for who I am or how far I've come. I'm not waiting for you or anyone to see me first. That's my job 💯
I am bookmarking this comment....I m going to marinate myself in it...
I regret that my comments came across in any way as criticizing what this essay is about and the people who are contributing, Ral. I completely agree with the spirit of the piece (healthy pride, self-acknowledgment) as you and others articulate so well in your comments. I was reacting only to that single sentence I quoted at the start of my initial comment starting with “We have been taught humility …”.
I think our culture promotes arrogant displays (for certain people) and actually devalues humility which I view as a virtue and wrote about in one of my essays:
https://bairdbrightman.substack.com/p/the-science-of-humility
But I can see how my comment could be seen as criticizing and undermining the positive intention of this whole and excellent essay and all its participants about escaping the harmful silencing and minimizing that our culture also subjects so many people to. If you or others would like, I would be happy to delete my initial comment so as not to continue to pollute the atmosphere here. Please let me know if that would be a constructive thing for me to do. Thank you.
There's no need to delete Baird.
What is creativity without criticism and constructive judgement. It's how we all grow.
Asé and amen!
Well said.
Yes, humility is absolutely a good thing. You can be confident and humble at the same time.
Confident AND humble is a paradigm I can fully embrace! Well said, Julia! 👏
Asé and oshe!
Asè
Aloha! This thread is landing in a tender place for me.
My dad’s favorite saying was “Who do you think you are, Billy big shit?”, a warning not to shine too brightly, not to take up too much space. And I learned it well. Too well.
It took me 61 years to understand the difference between arrogance and healthy pride. To walk into a room without apologizing for being there. To acknowledge what I’ve built, survived, and contributed, not for validation, but because it’s true.
Dimming my light never actually protected anyone. It just left me in the dark.
For those of us raised to shrink, learning to speak plainly about our own value isn’t bragging. It’s healing.
Melinda… you have rich life experience. I’m sure there are so many life lessons there.
Yes, yes and yes, over and over again 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Thanks for that great comment, Melinda! Your distinction between arrogance (what I meant by “braggadocio”) and healthy pride nails it perfectly. Occupying our own space because it’s our’s and we deserve to have it is indeed such a signal of a healthy self. Thanks again for that clarification.
Could not have said it better.
I agree, and I chose not to submit on this occasion for that reason. 🙏
Small clarification: that text isn’t mine. Even though I am thankful to the author for seeing me in a way I am still trying to get used to.
But you point to an interesting tension.
Social media amplifies self-promotion, yes… yet many people still find it surprisingly difficult to speak honestly about themselves, without feeling they may be crossing into arrogance. Interestingly, that often coexists with a deep discomfort some of us feel when asked to name our own strengths plainly.
I agree Sara. There are real individual differences in comfort level with promoting one’s own value in a public space (I am not comfortable doing this). I suspect there are a number of variables that have an influence on that.
I am truly not comfortable. Never was. Buy I am shy by nature.
Righto Sara. I believe that my shyness and introversion are somewhat of a handicap in a world of bright spotlights and loud voices. So I focus on doing the best work I can which does attract some decent attention in the marketplace. We are who we are.
Ah, but I believe quiet people tend to observe more and think more carefully. That counts for a lot.
In fact that happens. But we also grow slowwwwwwwer :)
I accepted that long time ago. I’m not a spotlights person, but I respect my work. So, I write and leave the self out of this :)))
✌️🖖
I’m happy to share my work, in my corner of Substack.
It’s then up to the viewer or reader to form their own opinions.
🙏
Many of my favorite Substackers are here!
Welcome then Dr. priyanka
Mine, too!
Thank you, Ral, for including me in Who You Are. Honored to be part of this issue and to stand alongside so many distinct, powerful voices. There’s something beautiful about so many journeys gathered in one place. Grateful to be included.
Happy Sunday and apologies for the late response. Been so tired lately. I love and love sharing the marvel behind who we are. I couldn't even imagine so many people felt compelled to appreciate themselves. It's been a long time coming. I'm a so happy you're part of it 🥰🥰
Hello Regina 🥰🥰
Great to see you here 🥰😍
So lovely to be here with you 🤍
Likewise ❤️
Thank you so much for putting this amazing piece of work together. Such a beautiful way to honour and celebrate those creatives who contributed.
So lovely meeting you, and yes thanks for seeing us and reveling in this beautiful self appreciation Issue. Can you imagine when we all wait to hear those things said to us and when we say it first? Marvelous.
We do issues and more of this every Saturday on weekends. Please join us this coming weekend to explore Something more beautiful. Also, consider picking up our patron plans.
Hello Katerina🥰🥰
Thank you for allowing me to be part of this. Though mine looks almost "childish and silly" compared with some of the other beautiful posts. I will see you next time.
Childish and silly is the late thing you're sounds like. Self appreciate my friend. I love a good Concept and that's how yours feel. You know I'm the queen of style. You're amazing truly and so is your words and journey. ♥️
I appreciate the comments. I look forward to supporting your next collection.
Beautiful
Hello Oli 🥰🥰
I also loved yours Oli! I particularly love how everyone’s distinct voice resonated. A perfect rainbow of sovereignty.
Tell him Melinda 💯💯💯💯
I loved your post! Babylon 5 is a favorite :) Might be time to re-watch soon!
Scream it to Oli Julia 💯💯💯🥰
Wonderful piece!
Welcome to Planet Ral and yes and yes thanks for seeings and appreciating this beautiful body of work with us. Means heavens. We explore more Beautiful issue and more every weekend on Saturdays. Please orbit with us. Also consider our patrons plans.. see you🥰🥰
Hello Shanna... 🥰
So lovely to get to know everyone in their own words. Beautiful work, Ral.
I know right.... Who would have thought self appreciation felt so good. And funny we've all been waiting Millenia for others to help us to it... Damn that! 😀
Hello Laura 🥰🥰
As a mother and advocate, it truly means so much to be included among such thoughtful reflections. Thank you Ral for creating space for people to share who they are in such an honest and meaningful way.
Motherhood has a way of reshaping how you see yourself…it softens parts of you, strengthens others, and asks you to stand up for things that matter. Being able to use my voice for my son, for disability advocacy, and for the kind of world I hope he grows up in is something I carry with deep pride.
I’m grateful to be part of this conversation and honoured to stand alongside everyone who shared their words here.
Don't send me to tears.... I hear you. I see you. We see you. That's why this issue exists. That's why Planet Ral exist. To shine the light on each of our faces once a week does that magic. A lovely Community for us by us. Welcome honey. ♥️
Hello Anna ☺️
Each and every post was absolutely inspirational! Brought together so beautifully 🌸
Thanks so much for seeing and being here to appreciate the issue. I couldn't imagine getting all these beautiful self expressions in one place but we did it.
Weekends are for us to see ourselves in a different light with Planet Ral. Welcome ma'am. Hope to see you more 🥰🥰
Ral you are just amazing. What you achieved is spectacular ❤️
Hello Brenda 🥰🥰
Howw beautiful, Ral. Yes to this!
How are you doing today? Such a pleasure to see you here. And oh my! I hope the issue is just lovely enough. I wanted to present something we Avent yet fully explored - the art of appreciating ourselves and it came out beautifully.
Join us this Saturday. It's gonna be so fun. 🌼
Hello Cindy 🥰🥰
Hi Ral!
I am surprised and amazed. It is an honor to be side by side with such a bouquet of amazing flowers. Thank you very much for remembering me. 🌺🩶
Bouquet of flowers... Such a lovely way to put it... It means to much to me to have have you join us this weekend. Hope you know we do this each Saturday. Coke have fine with us. Hoping to see you on our patron plans 🥰🥰
Hello Sara 🥰
Hello Ral 🙃